How i met my true lover

Dear Damian Quah,

you've never knew you how much you've changed me, 

to the positive of course, to be honest, I was a total different person before,

I swear I lost hope after being dumped by my previous one, cause it affected me 

tremendously, and really thought being in a new relationship is a no go for me.

Being with a Chinese boyfriend is like one of those dreams I had which I thought

 I could never get or even start dating any.

The first time you told me you didn't do any dating before, I laughed, 

cause it's silly, you do have a few ex-girlfriends, but no datings. 

Then, you unveil to me a little of your past, at that instant, I do feel like I was somewhat

special to you already. And then, a day after, you asked me if I am free on Tuesday.

I replied back sarcastically, "Yes why... are you asking me out for a date?"

And you were like "Why, can't i?

At that moment, I was honestly so happy, totally on cloud 9.

But did had some doubts cause it's just a date, it might actually go wrong.

Never thought you could actually plan out a date just for me.

I was really touched, I mean, none of my past dates are any near to be compared to yours. 

Certainly made me feel like as if I was the girl in your dreams. 

Yes, agreed, we did have our shy moments cause it's only the second time meeting,

the first was just plain awkward cause we met through a mutual friend's bbq and 

had no connection or what so ever... we didn't even talk. 

It was well spent on 14 June 2011, really,

also wished it could repeat again and again in my dreams. 

Then we continued texting, we made a lot of epic jokes between us.

We met again later on Thursday which falls on 16 june 2011.

After your attachment, just chillout at by the flyer and talk a lot of bullshits we've

been texting to each other. 

I remembered when you sent me back home, when I already said goodbye, 

you just pulled me and kiss me by my lips.

It was so sudden that I just went "What the fuck?!"

We both laughed and then you just kiss my forehead and left.

I kept my cool till I went up the stairs, in my head was running like

"He just kissed me, he just kissed me, he just kissed me, he just kissed me...."

then I just stop by the corridor before my house to catch a breather,

I was super contended, I found myself smiling and chuckling to myself

and thought to myself proudly, "this guy loves me, this is the moment ive been dreaming about"

Of course, I felt a little full of myself that night, I couldn't contain myself to sleep,

I was smiling and giggling myself to sleep while texting you and while my 

mind keeps repeating the scene where you suddenly kissed me.

Honestly, it was really sweet and adorable for you to do that. 

But I had to eventually sleep cause the day after, I am meeting you again.

The next day, Friday, June 17th, we continued texting while you were in your attachment, 

non-stop texting I must say... 

In the morning, I was already preparing what to wear and all.

Didn't want to wear too heavy cause the day before we planned to travel from

Marina square, to Esplanade, to Flyer,  to Marina bay sands and an additional trip to Marina barrage.

I was so excited, swear couldn't contain myself. 

We met at 6:30pm at Somerset then we went to eat, which I forgot,

cause that's not the important part, we walked pretty a lot, we went to Esplanade first,

I forgot what was my purpose to go there, then we took some photos with my macbook also,

you took your chances to go close to me, gosh, super adorable.

Then we carried on to MBS for a walk, then we settled down, you bought for me a Soya bean can

while for yourself a Ice Lemon Tea can, and we were collaborating where to go next,

we decided to go to the grass patch above Marina Bay Link Mall to chill,

when we were there, we just lay down on the patch like it was our home,

of course, we took some pictures with the macbook,

 neither did I realise your hands were already wrapping me,

I remembered your pecked me on my cheeks for a photo. I was so shy that I had to cover

my face for that one. 

Then we moved to Marina Barrage, smart ass me wanted to walk there cause it was already midnight plus,

 doubt there are any bus to go there, we were wearing our jackets while we walk for like.... 

what it seems to me like a 5km road, but it was well-worthy,

you held my hand while we walk, talk alot of cock and keep whining how long more and all, 

was memorable, really. 

Then we reached Marina Barrage, we were greeted with huge blows of wind, 

you immediately started taking of your top cause you were sweating like mad. 

Was awkward cause I didn't know how to react, hahaha.

Then we sat near the water fountain thing, and remember the two silly cats. 

One was hiding from another by hiding under your legs. And we were like "WTF?"

So funny, then we move on to the side of Marina Barrage where they have like small huts something like that, we settled down there, we were talking and then we both just read on the flat bench

and found ourselves looking at each other, we had like 5 minutes stare at each other eyes and faces.

Next thing I knew, I push myself forward and started kissing you. 

I believed it wasn't my mind that pushed me, it was my heart that pushed me towards you.

And, I felt like my heart was super connected to yours. 

I just could feel your heart that's why I didn't stop kissing you. 

I know it was kind of a shocker to you but it was contagious. 

After we kissed, I smiled, and asked you "how was it, am I a good kisser?"

You didnt reply, instead you push my head towards yours and phase 2 kiss starts again,

it felt very magical, something when I think about it, I  could literally cry. 

By that time it was between 0200 hrs to 0230 hrs where you 

burst the question if I could be your girlfriend. 

I said Yes and we just kissed away, and found my 

mind and heart both feeling contended.

We were already together.

Life has been good since then, many crazy dates with you,

loving all the moment, shared with you everything, open up to you entirely,

trusted you entirely... was so great for the past 6 months we've been through together.

Why I am posting this is because I would really like to apologize for the attitude I've been 

showing you the last two months, I know I am being very sensitive,

but you meant so fucking much to me, and the sight of me losing you 

is something which I know could potentially kill me. 

Therefore, I tried to be super concern on every thing you do, I am scared that

you would just get sick of me and eventually leave me for another girl.

I do these is because I am afraid of losing you.

and why I always asked you if its better for us to break cause I do not want 

to pressurize you further more with my imaginative assumptions. 

Plus I don't want to hurt you while I am hurting myself with my own imagination.

And also to see if you still do care for me.

I kind of know your love me for me has somehow decreased cause of 

my past attitude, I know this is not me, it's the paranoid me. 

I hope you can deal with it for now, cause I know it would eventually go away

after some time, please trust me in this, 

I promise to stick by you all times, promise baby.

Please trust me in this, I can definitely change back to the first,

just that I need to overcome the current, it's almost like an eclipse. 

Stay with me, baby, to get through this. 

I love you, a lot, beyond too much actually.

Love you, 

you're almost like the reason why my heart's still beating.